Rising into the full state of the rainbow purpose meant awareness, transmutation, acceptance, surrender and FLOW. Right when I felt it could go no further, I was tossed into the midst of the fight of my life- for ME. Many of my family, friends and colleagues supported me in miraculous ways financially, emotionally and spiritually. The first step in the journey was to ASK you for this help (learning to receive love), which was nothing short of the most shameful feeling I could stomach. It felt vulnerable and terrifying. A few of my most loyal friends and supporters judged, broke my heart and turned their backs permanently. Yet, I still not once felt alone. Not once did I feel lost. Fear, the dark cloud over my head that followed me so ever presently, was the opposite of my impending and blooming rainbow purpose.
I was folding and unfolding, coiling and emerging, authentically stepping into my full presence and Isness right in front of the eyes of what I sensed was a judgmental, harsh, criticizing public eye. Yet, what was returned to me was nothing short of amazing: love, support, mercy and compassion. And then one day, after channeling the presence of the White Tara, she said to me, "Let go of your heart. Let go of your head. Let go of all you BELIEVE that IS YOU". Being the musical human that I am, of course, a song lovingly and playfully mocked me from the dulled background on the radio. Thank you David Gray, you confirmed the biggest wake up of my life. This indeed, felt like "Babylon". Except I was at war with me!
Flow, to this extent, meant turning off the GPS navigation system while I randomly explored the streets of a foreign country, without fear of getting lost. Source is now my "GPS". What type of GPS leads one to a wishing well in the middle of the Dandenong mountain range; one with mirrors that is guarded by a gargoyle? How could I explain to the lovely being driving that I desperately NEEDED to turn in the middle of nowhere into a random tulip garden, so that I would find my new life purpose? The loved ones in my life know that each day is an adventure during time with me, therefore, it was not questioned, but honored.
In the most confident, declarative voice that has ever been uttered from my normally quiet and shy ego, I stated in full presence, "I want to teach myself and my partner unconditional love. Then I want to teach this unconditional love to humanity". Then I swiftly and knowingly dropped my coin into the well. Time stood still and I felt as if I became the metal in all particles of this coin as it fell into a slow descent and landed with a firm, clanking sound at the bottom of the well. One tear of gratitude settled into the crevice of my chin as I smiled and uttered a thankful, "And so it Is" to the Universe.