1. Obvious signs of volatility and hostility. If your soulmate is very aggressive or angry quite a bit of the time, if you feel you are living with a lot of tension (walking on eggshells), if you're feeling unable to express yourself the way you want, your soulmate relationship has likely entered into toxic territory. It is important in soulmate connections to feel the safety and security to express one's authentic self without toxic, severe and threatening repercussion.
2. Insults. Do you feel as if your soulmate doesn't wish to be around you or seems to openly insult you both privately and in front of others? Are you operating in the "double speak" types of mixed messages that cause for confusion (e.g. saying "Of course I love you" while not behaving in a loving manner)? Insults are ultimately caused by a block in communication and a "wall" that a one uses when feeling threatened. It takes a great deal of work to get past this dynamic in soulmate relationships.
If your partner isn't in the place to wish for conflict resolution, even at the cost of a temporary blow to his/her ego (humility can be a useful state to be in for most couples), it may be time to re-evaluate, especially when a partner cannot say the simple words, "I'm sorry" or "forgive me".
3. You've lost yourself. Do you change your likes, dislikes or opinions when you're with your soulmate? Feeling like you can't be yourself and adjusting to please for fear of retaliation can be a sign of a toxic soulmate relationship. It's important to be able to express yourself honestly in your relationship for authentic love to grow
4. I'm not talking about the kind who drives you to a soccer game. I'm talking about the kind who decides your career, what school you go to and who you affiliate with in social circles. If your soulmate chooses which friends stay, which ones go and what kind of clothes you should wear, it might be time to cut the cord.
5. Your soulmate cannot commit: If you're involved in a one way relationship wherein most of the emotional work is done by yourself, if your soulmate puts off commitment not based on any legal or financial obligations or obstacles, but simply for no obvious reason, it may be time to consider that the two of you aren't wanting the same path in life regarding the type of relationship you both seek. May I pass you the scissors, now? It's time to cut the cord.
6. Guilting and shaming: Does your soulmate have a certain knack for making you feel guilty and indebted to them, and shaming you when you do not? It's easy to feel obligated to give in to whatever your partner wants, especially when pretty much any tiny, thoughtful thing they've done for you lately (or any major thing) becomes fodder for a guilt trip. When every thoughtful gift comes with strings attached, it might be time to invoke your inner Edward Scissorhands to cut that cord from your soulmate.
7. You are a secret, both online and offline: If your partner refuses to introduce you to their inner circle of friends and family and it's been a significant enough time for them to be more than comfortable doing so, it may be time to cut through emotional, soulmate red tape with a machete. Call back your power. Do you feel good being the bottle of whiskey hidden in the bottom drawer of the bedroom? Time to go your separate ways.
1. The Tunnel: After going into a meditative space, imagine yourself sitting on one end of a short tunnel. You are sitting in human form on one end of the tunnel. Imagine your spirit form standing up and walking forward, away from the human form who is still sitting on the ground at the end of your tunnel.
Walk forward to the end of the tunnel while envisioning a large, life sized, golden book at the other end of the tunnel. Envision that your soulmate's first and last name is on the book, as well as yours. It should look like this: Jane Doe and John Doe (using your own names).
When you get into the book, envision the pages of the book turning and flipping slowly. Use the following "I AM" invocation to move into your most formative past life together: "I invoke the I AM in me to travel to my most formative lifetime with this soulmate", then step into the book. Literally place your feet onto the Book of Life and you'll enter another dimension with your soulmate. Observe what you see.
Observe the space, the time, the feeling and the memory between the two of you. If this exercise brings you into an akashic record, you may stay here to cut the cord, invoke the I AM to release the soulmate, then say or sing the ho'pono pono. If not, move onto the next exercise to enter a void space with your soulmate. Also, continue reading to learn how to visual the cord cutting and how to say or sing the ho' pono pono.
2. Enter the void space with your soulmate (if necessary). If the tunnel did not bring you into a formative akashic record, it will bring you into a void space instead. Envision you being in the night sky far above the earth, in space if you will, where there are no sounds, thoughts, emotions or extraneous things other than you and your soulmate.
3. Envision the cord and convene with your soulmate. Envision a golden energy chord attaching from the umbilical area between you and your soulmate. At this point, stand or sit in front of them, and lovingly ask that they release you. The conversation should entail anything you feel the need to say that helps both of you with closure. This conversation should be loving and gentle. Here is a general example of a release or "closure" conversation: "I love you, have loved you and I'm grateful for the love you have provided and for the lessons I've learned. I need you to release me at this point. Thank you! I'm sorry if I've hurt you and for any pain I've intentionally or unintentionally caused".
You may also sing the ho' pono pono, or say it if you like. The hono'pono is a simple song or prayer/blessing that sounds like this: "I'm sorry, forgive me, I thank you, I love you". At the end of this video is hono'pono song, in case you'd like to sing it instead (which is very powerful during this process).
Now, invoke the I AM once more to call back your power to you with the following statement: "I invoke the I AM in me to call my power back to me from the north, south, east and west. And so it is." Watch as your soulmate slowly drifts aware from you into space, thanking them as they depart.